your thong is hanging out like whoa
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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