You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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