I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Never joke about your clitoris.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
