he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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