I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
