as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
cat food counts as protein by the way
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
