we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
