i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
