Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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