Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize