We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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