Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
