The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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