I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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