Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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