True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize