I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
