So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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