and you said cock pushups were impossible
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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