My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
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I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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