I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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