it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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