is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize