first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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