and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
