Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
