i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
