i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
