new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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