I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
