Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
