do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
