Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
