He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
