Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
