He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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