I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
