from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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