babies were throwing up all over the place
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
