Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
