There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she told me i tasted like america
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
