Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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