my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize