So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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