Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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