He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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