And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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