I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
