I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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