at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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