Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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