If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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