It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize