you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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