just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
