btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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